Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.
One should never do wrong in return, nor mistreat any man, no matter how one has been mistreated by him.
Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.
As long as we carry grudge against someone, that person goes on haunting us in a way - we give them power over us. We are not free.
Setbacks are inevitable; misery is a choice.
The purpose of pain is to move us into action. It is not to make us suffer.
I'm like someone who's been thrown into the ocean at night, floating all alone. I reach out, but no one is there. I call out, but no one answers.
Still, being able to feel pain was good, he thought. It's when you can't even feel pain anymore that you're in real trouble.
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.
The damage was permanent; there would always be scars. But even the angriest scars faded over time until it was difficult to see them written on the skin at all, and the only thing that remained was the memory of how painful it had been.
The biggest mistake we make with negative emotions is trying not to feel them. Awareness deepens positive emotions and allows negative ones to dissipate. Trying to avoid your feelings causes suffering.
You cry, I'm suffering severe pain! Are you then relieved from feeling it, if you bear it in an unmanly way?
I don't know about you, but every important thing in my life I've ever learned was painful.
It is very important that we do not try to run away from our painful feelings. We can recognize, accept, embrace, and look deeply.
Know that you never suffer from anyone but yourself.
Suffering is a test. That's all it is. Suffering is the true test of life.
A clear mind heals everything that needs to be healed.
And what is laughter anyway? Changing the angle of vision.
One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.
Prioritize healing over history.
To solve all problems, be here, in reality, now. Recognize that they exist only in a past or a future.
Take full responsibility for your life.
We acquire the most strength and wisdom at those points in our lives that are the most difficult. When we think back on our difficult times, what we learned from them and how we overcame them, we realize that they have been a priceless experience for us.
What distresses us is less the circumstances we find ourselves in and more the energy we expend in resisting them.
Conquer pain by surrendering to the experience of it.
No matter who hurt you in the past, fixing you is your responsibility and your burden.
To smile to our pain is the wisest, the most intelligent, the most beautiful thing we can do. There is no better way.
When pain, misery, or anger happen, it is time to look within you, not around you.
The axe never remembers. The tree never forgets.
Pain doesn't hurt as much when you stop avoiding it.
Whatever rejection you're facing right now is a gift.
Stop running from pain. Pain is here to teach you something.
The pain of yesterday is the strength of today.
A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens.
The worst loss you've ever experienced is the greatest gift you can have.
Choose not to be harmed - and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed - and you haven't been.
If it hurts it's probably doing you good. If it's pleasant, it's most likely wrong.
Even situations that appear to be obstacles are actually opportunities - detours in the right direction.
Just because it's not what you were expecting, doesn't mean it's not everything you need right now.
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.
The purpose of life, as far as I can tell... is to find a mode of being that's so meaningful that the fact that life is suffering is no longer relevant.
So other people hurt me? That's their problem. Their character and actions are not mine. What is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do by my own.
When there is no resistance of any kind then there is no psychological problem.
You aren't really being rejected - you're being redirected.
Injuries done to us by others tend to be acute; the self-inflicted ones tend to be chronic.
Part 1. Life will have terrible blows, horrible blows, unfair blows, doesn't matter. And some people recover and others don't.
Part 2. I think the attitude of Epictetus is the best. He thought that every mischance in life was an opportunity to behave well, every mischance in life was an opportunity to learn something, and your duty was not to be submerged in self-pity but to utilize the terrible blow in a constructive fashion.
If you ignore a deep wound, it gets infected. Same is true of psychological wounds. You have to treat a wound to heal it.
If you evade suffering you also evade the chance of joy. Pleasure you may get, or pleasures, but you will not be fulfilled. You will not know what it is to come home.
Oh, love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure.
No man is hurt but by himself.
In the Now, in the absence of time, all your problems dissolve. Suffering needs time; it cannot survive in the Now.
God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept something that your mind already knows.
I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.
If you see somebody that's hurting, don't look away. And if you are hurting, even though it might be hard, try to find that bravery within yourself to dive deep and go tell somebody.
If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself.
Embrace your suffering tenderly.
No one can hurt me - that's my job.
Heaven or hell; it's all in the mind
Pain is inevitable, suffering is not.
Be grateful in spite of your suffering.
Only in ending is there a new beginning.
We cannot learn without experiencing pain.
How you relate to the issue is the issue.
We are not our stories, our dramas, or our wrongdoings. We are love.
Don't allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not.
When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstances, revert at once to yourself, and don't lose the rhythm more than you can help. You'll have a better grasp of harmony if you keep on going back to it.
I've survived a lot of things, and I'll probably survive this.
It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.
Part 1. We are all gonna get heartbroken over and over again. We are all gonna deal with failures all over again. But it's how we think about those moments, in the moment.
Part 2. I've trained my brain to allow myself to be upset when I'm heartbroken or allow myself to feel failure but not be down the dumps for too long.
Part 3. Getting hurt efficiently means we're hurt, how can we efficiently learn a lesson in this moment so that the next time you will be heartbroken, which you will be, it's inevitable, you're better equipped to deal with it.
Use setbacks in life as an opportunity to become a bigger and better person. Don't wallow.
Being rejected from something good just means you were being pointed toward something better.
Learn from your past, but don't be controlled by it.
Never be afraid to suffer, it's just a tool that some people aren't willing to use. It's that very tool that strengthens weak people.
Try to learn to let what is unfair teach you.
Misfortune is virtue's opportunity.
Just because someone serves you a bad meal, does not mean you have to eat it.
That feeling when you give it all you have and life still kicks your ass.
Gradually the healing took place, seeming as it always does that it wasn't taking place.
Why did they insult me? Bad question. Why did I feel insulted? Good question.
If you suffer it is because of you, if you feel blissful it is because of you. Nobody else is responsible - only you and you alone.
People who wrong others for no good reason tend to keep at it until they finish the job.
We often benefit from harm done to us by others, almost never from self-inflicted injuries.
Sentimentality and emotionalism are the most destructive things.
Things that break - be they bones, hearts, or promises - can be put back together but will never really be whole.
When things break down, what has been ignored rushes in.
It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence.
Don't drift into self-pity because it doesn't solve any problems. Generally speaking, envy, resentment, revenge and self-pity are disastrous modes of thoughts.
Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it's actually you who are ruining your life. It's such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a disastrous way to make go through life.
A man is the sum of his misfortunes. One day you'd think misfortune would get tired, but then time is your misfortune.
Life eventually humbles us all. The longer it takes, the harder the fall.
Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself.
Recognize reality even when you don't like it - especially when you don't like it.
The river you're in has strong waves and smooth waves too. Same water, but different energy. Use them both wisely.
Attachment is the root cause of all misery - and our mind is such that it starts clinging to each and everything. It starts becoming identified, attached, it does not know how to keep a distance; hence the misery.
If you feel pain, be attentive to it; don't do anything. Attention is the great sword; it cuts everything. You simply pay attention to the pain.
The less the head, the more the wound will heal - with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
We don't meditate to see heaven, but to end suffering.
Instead of treating events as wins or losses, ask Did I learn something I can apply in the future? If not, you must treat it as a loss.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it, then you can go on to the next lesson.
You cannot suffer the past or future because they do not exist. What you are suffering is your memory and your imagination.
Pain is a teacher that commands the attention of every student. A lesson learned from suffering is not easily forgotten.
We are not in control of pain. No matter how hard we try. Not of the cause or the duration - only the response.
Learn to accept discomfort and uncertainty. It will eliminate most of your imagined suffering.
All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire.
If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation.
It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.
I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent - no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.
One benefit of a life crisis is increased self-awareness.
Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it.
You can destroy my body, but not my soul.
Someday, we'll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain. And we'll finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time.
I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature.
Why is what's bothering you, bothering you? Either non-acceptance of reality, or lack of appropriate engagement to change it.
You must practice seeing yourself with a little distance, cultivating the ability to get out of your own head. Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote.
Be aware - deep down you are really attached to your negative emotions. They are your ego.
After someone is hurt emotionally the long term danger is that they prioritize protecting themselves over loving again. If you protect yourself from the downside of the world at all costs, you block yourself from the upside of the world.
Love more, not less. Will you take a hit? Of course you will. Do it anyway.
Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.
Love, though said to be afflicted with blindness, is a vigilant watchman.
I hate him for himself, but despise him for the memories he revives.
A profound love between two people involves, after all, the power and chance of doing profound hurt.
Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.
When you have been burned by fire once, you don't leap into the flames again.
I don't care what you do to me, but I don't want you to hurt me. I've had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy.
Fear empty words more than silence.
Each breakup brings you closer to the person who is right for you.
The best revenge is living well without you.
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.
You may be hurt if you love too much, but you will live in misery if you love too little.
Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.
You're allowed to leave someone you love if they're treating you poorly, you're allowed to put yourself first if you're settling and you're allowed to walk away when you've tried over and over again but nothing has changed.
A man's ultimate freedom lies in a total indifference to the way he is treated.
The lesson? To respond to the unexpected and hurtful behavior of others with something more than a wipe of the glasses, to see it as a chance to expand our understanding.
Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. Trying to take on the responsibility of another person's happiness can hurt them in the long run and deprive them of miracles.
Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.
The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.
Not everyone you lose is a loss.
To remove the sting of insult, stop valuing compliments.
People say hurtful things because they themselves have been hurt.
Why should your life be destroyed because of the easy criticism of those who do not know you or care about you?
We are far more affected by one word of criticism than by ten words of praise. Whenever you are hurt by someone's criticism, remember that behind that one word of criticism, there are ten words of praise from those who like you and cheer you on.
Few in this world are ever simply nasty; those who hurt us are themselves in pain. The appropriate response is hence never cynicism nor aggression but, at the rare moments one can manage it, always love.
A person who broods on revenge only worsens his wounds. His injures would heal if he would refrain.
There are two major reasons for resentment: being taken advantage of , or whiny refusal to adopt responsibility and grow up.
Telling hard truths causes friction in the short term, but earns respect for the long term. Flattery will get you ahead in the short term, but harm you in the long run. People resent their enablers when they face the costs of their delusions.
Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt.
Anger is a blunt tool. It won't hurt your enemies. However, It will definitely hurt you.
Forgiveness leads to a shift in perception. It transforms the hurt into healing.
Forgive but do not forget, or you will be hurt again. Forgiving changes the perspectives. Forgetting loses the lesson.
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. They prefer suffering that is familiar to the unknown.
Whatever is happening in your life, you and only you are responsible for it. If you had not been clinging, the wheel would have moved.
It's one of the toughest things in the world when somebody has hurt you, and you can find within yourself the strength to begin the whole process of forgiveness. And it turns out to be the gift to you, not so much the gift to the person you're forgiving. Dr.
I always hated when my scars started to fade, because as long as I could still see them, I knew why I was hurting.
One of the most courageous decisions you'll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.
Forgiveness is making a conscious decision to live in the present, even if the past still hurts.