The purpose of suffering is to connect you to your Self. It indicates that you got carried away by all the transient things around you.
Suffering is the sandpaper of our incarnation. It does its work of shaping us.
What if we could view death as just another stage of life?
Don't compare your pain with anybody else's. Your path in unique to you.
A leaf falls. A tree dies. A season ends. Still, life continues.
The student prepares for life. The master prepares for death.
See, as much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it.
The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that.
Your entire life is a bombardment of messages. Do this, do that. Become this, become that. Be more of this, be less of that. Practice this, practice that... Amidst all of your doings, Amidst all of your becomings, death will snatch you in mid-stride.
He who is of a rare sort, whose eyes drift toward the heavens, who harbors a nature considered unsuitable for this world, will see the emptiness of society, and the shallowness of the ways of men. So that he may make wise use of this one life, and die not an ignorant death.
A man's days are numbered. Though this man may be in perfect health, he is terminal. There is perhaps no greater realization than this.
Zen has no secrets other than seriously thinking about birth-and-death.
Ancient as well as modern civilisations have tried to go beyond death, to somehow conquer it, to imagine there is immortality, a life after death â€“ anything but face it.
To acknowledge death is not to fear it. The latter is much worse, because in fearing death we tend to avoid things that involve a risk of dying, which are often the things most worth living for.
Death weighs heavy on one who, too well known to all, died unknown to himself.
Death is nothing to us. When we exist, death is not; and when death exists, we are not.
Omnia mors Ã¦quat. â€œDeath levels all things.
Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be.
After you grieve what could have been, you can build a beautiful life with what remains as you prepare for what is to come.
As you outgrow survival mode, you begin to dream again. You begin to risk believing more is possible for your life.
On the other side of our anxiety is the realization that life can go on even when it is drastically different than the life we planned.
Those who live deeply keep in mind they will die someday. They cry, they get up, they keep going.
One must face the natural calamities with a calm head .
You can't exist in this world without leaving a piece of yourself behind.
The things to which you are attached will take control of your life.
For grief is felt not so much for the want of what we have never known, as for the loss of that to which we have been long accustomed.
The double grief of a lost bliss is to recall its happy hour in pain.
Don't let your wound pick your next chapter. Heal first then decide.
Memories hurt if they are not accepted as memories. Thereafter, they become dreams.
I will practice coming back to the present moment...not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past or letting anxieties, fears, or cravings pull me out.
But then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.
Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.
I think it is all a matter of love; the more you love a memory the stronger and stranger it becomes.
Grief. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.
He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.
You can start healing if you face reality and avoid lies. You can find peace if you love yourself and keep going.
Time...does not 'console,' as people say superficially; at best it puts things in their place and creates order.
As we tell ourselves the truth, clarity comes, grief comes, healing comes, wisdom comes. Self-deception delays the process.
Healing doesn't eliminate all the hard moments. It changes how you handle them.
May this be the season we choose healing over distraction.
The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.
It is virtually impossible to be happy when terrible things happen. There may be great sadness and grief, but it is possible to remain peaceful and accept reality as it is. Happiness is not inner peace.
That was the way with grief: it left you alone for months together until you thought that you were cured, and then without warning it blotted out the sunlight.
Gratitude eliminates fear, worry, grief, and depression, and brings happiness, clarity, patience, kindness, compassion, understanding, and peace of mind.
Whether this moment is happy or not depends on you. It's you that makes the moment happy. It's not the moment that makes you happy.
The trick to healing from suffering is deciding that the pain was worth it.
I wonder if, as you get older, you stop missing people so fiercely. Maybe growing up is just focusing on what you've got, instead of what you don't.
Despair can never be dissolved through escape, but by observing it.
Only by dying each day can there be eternal renewal.
Part 1. Grief is a full-body experience. It takes over your entire body â€” it's not a disease of the mind. It's something that impacts you at the physical level.
Part 2. I feel that it has a tremendous relationship to love: First of all, as they say, it's the price you pay for love. But, secondly, in the moments of my life when I have fallen in love, I have just as little power over it as I do in grief.
Part 3. There are certain things that happen to you as a human being that you cannot control or command, that will come to you at really inconvenient times, and where you have to bow in the human humility to the fact that there's something running through you that's bigger than you.
Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
People generally don't change unless a traumatic event occurs in their life which triggers the brain into new action.
Dark is the atmosphere. Hopeful you must be.
Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.
Loss is not as bad as wanting more.
Make peace with the present moment.
We need never be ashamed of our tears.
Life is a movie; death is a photograph.
Grief is just love with no place to go.
Life is unfair. Death is natural. Accept.
The greater the love the greater the grief.
Bear without murmuring what cannot be changed.
The more violent the storm, the quicker it passes.
A man may win many battles, but death will win the war.
After you grieve what could have been, prepare for what can be.
Your wounded heart is a very beautiful heart.
I do not believe that grief is ever so great that it can not be contained within.
Go beyond love and grief, exist for the good of mankind.
The road continues, there are still pages to read, sunrises to see and mountains to conquer. Don't give up.
No matter who you are, no matter where you are, gratitude can dissolve all negativity in your life, regardless of what form it has taken.
When you can maintain peace and joy within you despite any situation on the outside, you have become the master of all circumstances and master of your life.
I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.
On the occasion of every accident that befalls you, remember to turn to yourself and inquire what power you have for turning it to use.
Be content with the moment and be willing to follow the flow; then there will be no room for grief or joy.
When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.
Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.
After the grieving, the gift of life shows up reminding us why we're still here.
As your heart heals so does your vision. Regaining clarity is life changing.
Beyond death there is resurection. Beyond grief, there is joy.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
The antidote to misery is to stay present.
In life, obstacles are needed for us to grow. Problems occur not to us but for us.
People who love you and care for you will be present and ready, when you are.
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. It is originally an unlearned feeling process. Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished.
Being silly is important. It's the opposite of grief. It's throwing yourself into a moment without care. You can't always maintain status as a dignified person â€“ it gives you blinders. When you always expect the world to fulfill your expectations, it wears you down. It closes you off.
Grief is a step towards strength because it allows you to be porous and take everything in, and have it transform you. What will sit within you is despairing, but at least it's feeling. You're not numb. Grief is sort of the allowance of feeling.
Ain't no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too.
Wisdom lies in cheerful acceptance of whatever life throws at you. Easier said than done, I know. But what is the alternative? If you cannot change something, it is best to accept it cheerfully rather than adding to one's misfortune by grieving over it.
Give yourself space and permission to feel, to grieve, to speak truth, to be speechless, to let go, to hold tightly, to mobilize, to be still, to be where you are. Your process doesn't have to match anyone else's in content or in time.
Healing from trauma is not an intellectual exercise. You cannot simply think your way out of it. Your healing requires your full participation: spirit, heart, mind, and body.
To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad.
The good news: it is possible to use suffering as a call for wider awakening in the world.
Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.
We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.
To heal a wound, you must stop scratching it.
Be gentle with yourself: You are doing the best you can.
When grief is deepest, words are fewest.
Grief is a gift, something you have to earn.
It took me years to see the gift. And that was the greatest one.
Grief is the price we pay for being close to one another. If we want to avoid our grief, we simply avoid each other.
Amor fati is about loving what happens and making use of it.
Feelings, and feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead.
I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.
When grief comes to visit me, it's like being visited by a tsunami. I am given just enough warning to say, â€œOh my god, this is happening right now,â€ and then I drop to the floor on my knees and let it rock me. How do you survive the tsunami of grief? By being willing to experience it, without resistance.
A man lifting his head from the very funeral pyre must need some novel vocabulary not drawn from ordinary everyday condolence to comfort his own dear ones. But every great and overpowering grief must take away the capacity to choose words, since it often stifles the voice itself.
Which one of you ever dared to think about exile, about poverty, about grief?
Accepting a situation is not a voluntary response. You either understand that something cannot be changed, or you do not.
Don't confuse your grief with guilt.
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.
The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light.
Life and death are a package deal. You cannot pull them apart.
Our soul is governed by four invisible forces: love, death, power and time.
The world is afflicted by death and decay. But the wise do not grieve, having realized the nature of the world.
Avoid lies so you can see reality. Fools seek distractions. The wise sit, wait and try to understand.
Grief is natural; the absence of all feeling is undesirable, but moderation in grief should be observed, as in the face of all good or evil.
Death will take everything away. Think about that. Everything you've accumulated, fought for, worried over, everything will go. Why not let it all go now when you're still living. Renounce it mentally. Then you can live freely and fearlessly because you've nothing to lose.
A fountain gets muddy with but little stirring up, and does not get clear by our meddling with it but by our leaving it alone. The best remedy for disturbances is to let them run their course, for so they quiet down.
Buddha's doctrine: man suffers because of his craving to possess and keep forever things which are impermanent.
The fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them.
Abandon yesterday, tomorrow and today. Cross over to the farthest shore beyond life and death.
Only intense self-awareness can eradicate the cause of sorrow.
Life is not opposed to death nor is death a darkening of life.
Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.
Your father is in every cell of our body. You can be in touch with him at every moment.
He who is overly attached to his family members experiences fear and sorrow, for the root of all grief is attachment. Thus one should discard attachment to be happy.
Give yourself space to grieve. Honor your loved ones. Speak their names. Carry their wisdom.
Not that grief vanishes...but that it begins in time to coexist with pleasure; sorrow sits right beside the rediscovery of what is to be cherished in experience. Just when you think you're done.
Sometimes, this world is tough because we shame and diminish ordinary... We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. Then, in the face of the really hard stuff â€” illness, death, loss â€” the only thing we're begging for is a normal moment.
On funerals, loss, grief, friendship, and support: It's not about knowing what to say. It's about being there when nobody knows what to say. The only thing people need to hear is, â€œYou are not alone.â€ And that doesn't require words. It just requires your presence.
When the past dies, there is mourning, but when the future dies our imaginations are compelled to carry it on.
There should be a statute of limitation on grief. A rulebook that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month.
In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.
My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping but I shall go on living.
There is such a thing as moderation even in grieving.
Patience is a remedy for every sorrow.
Love is an engraved invitation to grief.
I simply want to tell you that somehow I can't imagine life without you.
The depth of our grief is simply the price we pay for the extent of our love.
When you love you're indeed alive. When you cry you're indeed human.
Grief moves us like love. Grief is love, I suppose. Love as a backwards glance.
No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom and loyalty.
Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.
Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Some people care too much, I think it's called love.
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.
Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.
Die each day; die each day to yourself, to your misery, to your sorrow; put aside that burden so that your mind is fresh, young and innocent.
Something still exists as long as there's someone around to remember it.
Embrace your grief. For there, your soul will grow.
Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people.
Relax. One bad chapter does not mean it's the end of the book.
People just disappear sometimes. You have to love and appreciate them while they're near you.
There are times when explanations, no matter how reasonable, just don't seem to help.
This is not the life you pictured but here you are. You can still make something beautiful. Grieve. Breathe. Begin again.
No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine that they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by.
Death is a reminder to live fully.
Reality hurts when you fight it. It makes you strong when you accept it.
It's an honor to be in grief. It's an honor to feel that much, to have loved that much.
Thought is time, time is sorrow.
Grief is tremendous, but love is bigger. You are grieving because you loved truly.
How much more damage anger and grief do than the things that cause them.
The art of life is not controlling what happens to us, but using what happens to us.
Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.
At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed.
The darker the night, the brighter the stars, the deeper the grief, the closer is God.
Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them.
We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend.
True that we don't know what we've got till we lose it, but also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Tears are words the heart can't express.
It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent, when they are not.
Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
Joy is rejoicing what is, and sorrow is craving for what isn't.
Grief is the price we pay for love.
The things which hurt, instruct.
It's hard to explain so much pain.
Those who are attached to things will suffer greatly.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't.
People talk as if grief were just a feeling â€“ as if it weren't the continually renewed shock of setting out again and again on familiar roads and being brought up short by the grim frontier post that now blocks them.
Time is the wisest counsellor of all.
To weep is to make less the depth of grief.
From craving is born grief, from craving is born fear. For one freed from craving there's no grief â€“ so how fear?
He is a sane man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.
We must learn to suffer whatever we cannot avoid. Our life is composed, like the harmony of the world, of discords as well as different tones, sweet and harsh, sharp and flat, soft and loud.
The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.
People keep asking me how I'm doing, and I'm not always sure how to answer that. It depends on the day. It depends on the minute. Right this moment, I'm OK. Yesterday, not so good. Tomorrow, we'll see.
On Kobe Bryant's death: Tragedies like this have a cruel way of reminding us of what's important in life: spending time with our loved ones, and being there for them no matter what.
On Kobe Bryant's death: I haven't felt a pain that sharp in a while... I just wish I could say something to him.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy.
Life is a blink.
Grief is itself a medicine.
Sorrow makes men sincere.
Loss will give you humility. Humility will give you wisdom.
Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates.
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
I wake up in that state of grief when you can tell you've been mourning even in your sleep.
By honoring what has passed away, we are free to love the life that is here.
For that which is otherwise quite indigestible, all affliction, vexation, loss, grief, time alone digests.
Grief is a force of energy that cannot be controlled or predicted... Grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, grief has a lot in common with love.
The only way that I can â€œhandleâ€ grief, then, is the same way that I â€œhandleâ€ Love â€” by not â€œhandlingâ€ it. By bowing down before its power, in complete humility.
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.
Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech.
When all you see is darkness day after day is exactly when you must jump in the void and trust life again.
It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and anger flow in tears when they need to.
Grief is depression in proportion to circumstances; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance. It is tumbleweed distress that thrives on thin air, growing despite its detachment from the nourishing earth. It can be described only in metaphor and allegory.
Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before â€“ more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.
Just as all vices become deep-rooted unless they are crushed when they spring up, so, too, such a state of sadness and wretchedness, with its self-afflicted torture, feeds at last upon its very bitterness, and the grief of an unhappy mind becomes a morbid pleasure.
The display of grief makes more demands than grief itself. How few men are sad in their own company.
How many have laid waste to your life when you weren't aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolish joy, greedy desire, and social amusements â€” how little of your own was left to you.
If it is possible to die of grief then why on earth can't someone be healed by happiness?
Stiffness is thus a companion of death; flexibility a companion of life.
One of the hardest things you will ever have to do my dear is grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.
Grief is the agony of an instant. The indulgence of grief the blunder of a life.
And grief still feels like fear. Perhaps, more strictly, like suspense. Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen. It gives life a permanently provisional feeling. It doesn't seem worth starting anything. I can't settle down. I yawn, fidget, I smoke too much. Up till this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time. Almost pure time, empty successiveness.
I began to understand that suffering and disappointments and melancholy are there not to vex us or cheapen us or deprive us of our dignity but to mature and transfigure us.